Living With Anxiety

As I stated earlier, anxiety is an irrational fear. However, living with anxiety daily, the fear seems all too real. My thoughts are real. The symptoms I experience are real. However, I do take that next step, and that is where the irrational fear comes in to play.

When I was in school, the teacher mentioned we had to do a presentation in front of the class. You got your regular moans and groans from the students, except for me.

I sat there quietly... with alarms going off in my head. I started to sweat, my mouth got so dry I couldn't swallow, there was a burning pit in my stomach, my mouth tasted like metal, my heart was pounding so hard I thought it would jump out of my chest, and I got nauseous.

All this because the teacher mentioned a presentation we had to do... a week away. A week away, yet in my head, I was already in front of the class making a fool out of myself. So, when the time came, I took a zero on the project... avoidance.

Avoidance is very common. I will do almost anything to avoid any situation that is going to cause the feelings and sensations I described above.

However, avoidance has also made my world very small. I lose out on a lot. My friends don't ask me to do anything anymore because they are tired of getting turned down all the time. And it is very hard to meet new people. (Social Phobia).

Avoidance leads to not wanting to leave the "safety" of your house. (Agoraphobia). Avoidance makes you miss out on a lot of things in life because when anxiety is at its worse, you feel like you are going to die. (Panic Attacks).

It is not only scary living with anxiety, it is also embarrassing. People who don't understand the depths of anxiety look at you like you are some kind of freak. Others are disgusted, thinking I am looking for pity and attention. Trust me, that is the last thing I want.

Until next time...