Social Anxiety | How To Help Your Child With School

Does your child have social anxiety? Does your child have school anxiety?

School is right around the corner, how do you help your child handle their social anxiety when school starts?

Butterflies are common on the first day of school, panic attacks are not.

Children with social anxiety have it twice as hard on the first day of school as children without social anxiety.

If your child suffers from social anxiety or severe anxiety, don’t brush it off, by telling them, “It’ll be ok” because they won’t believe you.

Your child “knows” it won’t be ok because their negative thoughts are telling them it won’t be.

They “know” they’ll get on the wrong bus, they’ll go to the wrong classroom, and a million other things that will embarrass them.

How To Help Your Social Anxiety Child With School

Children with social anxiety need to turn off the negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones just as adults with social anxiety need to do.

Do they have certain “school friends” they’ve missed? Have them concentrate on finding this friend and inviting him over after school.

Whether it’s big or small, if your child has one thing they like about school or something they miss about school, or something they are looking forward to, have them focus on that.

If there’s absolutely nothing, invent something. For younger children, you could make a bet that their teacher will be wearing blue, or their desk will have a stapler, or something that will occupy their thoughts.

I’m not a professional, but I have suffered from social anxiety since I was very young. I do know the worst thing you can say is, “It’ll be ok” because I “knew” for a fact it wouldn’t.

Social Anxiety | Homebody | Which One Are You?

I've had extreme social anxiety which often turned into panic attacks, and I've also overcome social anxiety for the most part. One thing I still don't like to do is go places or run errands.

Now, is this a form of social anxiety? Or is it just being a homebody? Social anxiety is an extreme fear of social situations. I don't have that extreme fear anymore. I still have anxiety, and I still get nervous when I go someplace new, but not the social anxiety I used to have.

Dictionary.com defines a homebody as "a person who prefers pleasures and activities that center around the home; stay-at-home."

I feel as though at this point in my life, I would consider myself as a homebody. For instance, I don't like going to the movies, although I love watching movies. What I don't like is driving to the theater (traffic stress), trying to find a parking space, waiting in line, and fighting to get into and out of the movie.

I am not worried about paying for a ticket, talking to people, or sitting next to a stranger. However, I would enjoy the movie more if I plugged it into my player at home, put my feet up, made some popcorn, and had a bunch of people at my house.

Some psychologists and such might say that I am using traffic and the hassle of going out to the movies vs. staying home just excuses, and I still have social anxiety. That may be true, but I don't mind going short distances from my home to visit or run errands.

Regardless if it is social anxiety or just a homebody, I know I am further ahead than I was a few years ago. You just have to grasp the "stop" or "I don't care" attitude, and flip those negative thoughts into positive ones.

Social Anxiety and Dating

Social Anxiety and Dating, what a scary thought! Social anxiety and the thought of meeting people is scary enough, but when you add in the fact that you might like someone and want to make a good impression, dating can be above and beyond anxiety and turn into a full blown panic attack.

Practicing good strategies for meeting people is a great place to start. Good eye contact, smiling, learning small talk... Above all Stop Those Negative Thoughts!!!! Choose first date activities wisely. It might be better to go to an amusement park where there's lots of activities and things to do and talk about, rather than a quiet intimate dinner.

For those with social anxiety, it is very hard to meet people to practice good strategies. My suggestion earlier was to begin small, like with social networking sites online. Not so much to actually meet anyone in person from those sites, but to practice conversing.

It's a very scary thought to choose to get better, but it is so freeing, and it feels good. Good luck on your successful journey!

Social Anxiety and Relationships

I have posted about social anxiety and relationships before, but it is one of the hardest to deal with for me, and probably a lot of others. It is also something I am dealing with at the moment.

It is hard enough for someone with social anxiety to meet people, let alone allow yourself to be open with your feelings enough to form a relationship. Pretty scary stuff if you suffer from social anxiety.

Once a relationship has been established, anxiety usually rises. Do you tell this person your struggles with social anxiety? I say yes, but I am a firm believer in honesty. Not to mention, if you have a severe case of anxiety, they will come to realize this on their own.

But what if you've been honest from the start, and they decide to stand by you, because they tell you they love you. Is love enough? I believe it takes a very special person to handle the highs and lows of someone who struggles daily.

Even the most loving person probably wonders why we just can't "snap out of it." Especially for those of us who have perfected hiding the symptoms. It is not like a broken leg which is visibly apparent that there is something wrong.

He or she most likely thinks:

• Panic attacks can't be that bad
• Most of it is probably just in their head
• They are doing this just for attention
• They can control this

I have also learned that loved ones, once they see you have a good day, or conquer something, they think you're cured. They don't understand that it is a day-in and day-out battle for my life. That I never know what the next day will bring.

It is 10 times harder if you have a lot of stress in your life. I am still in pain from my surgery a few weeks ago, and sometimes it is almost unbearable. This causes frustration, anxiety, and depression.

Add these to the mix, and it is extremely hard if not impossible to not let those negative thoughts that bombard us every day take over. One innocent remark, one forgotten phone call, or one of many other statements made, that are not meant to hurt.

So, what happens? I suffer in silence. I put the mask on to hide the fact that I am desperately hurting. I put the mask on to hide because it is so damn embarrassing. I scream, cry, and curse... why must I be like this?

Then I wonder if it is worth it. Which pain would be worse? The gut wrenching pain caused by my thoughts from something innocent, or from him walking out of my life? I am pretty sure the latter, because I love him with all my heart, and I want him to remain a big part of my life.

So, of course, the negative thoughts have to change, as I've posted many times. And, as I've also posted, there will be setbacks. This is where I am at, and have been at the past few days. Will he walk out of my life before I can turn things around? Maybe... does this cause more anxiety and panic episodes? Yup...

Everyone has setbacks... just because I know what needs to be done, doesn't mean I'm immune from them.

Until next time...

Setbacks To Overcoming Social Anxiety

For those on the journey to overcoming social anxiety, you need to be aware of setbacks. What I mean by setback is an increased feeling of fear and anxiety in a social situation after you have made great progress.

I had a setback yesterday. I was going to work in the yard. This has been very easy to do lately, so I didn't think anything of it. That might have been my problem. I wasn't paying attention to my thoughts.

Just as I got to the door, a flood of “What if” questions came pouring into my thoughts. What if “this” happens... I'll look stupid. I was actually caught by surprise, so it took me a second to regroup.

What worked for me, is I changed the words “What if” to “So What!” Any negative thought I had like.. “What if the neighbors are out?” I replaced with, “So what if the neighbors are out!” Every “what if” can be turned around to “so what!” Once I did that, my anxiety lowered, and I was able accomplish my yard work.

Look for warning signs of a setback for overcoming social anxiety. Some may include:

• An increase of fear in social situations in which you have been successful
• An increase in fearful or “faulty” thoughts
• An increase in avoidance to things you have accepted invitations successfully
• An increase of worrying what others think of you

If a setback happens, don't panic. Don't think that you are a failure because you are not!

Go back over the steps you took previously on your journey to overcome social anxiety.

• Practice breathing skills
• Change the negative thoughts into more constructive ones
• Practice confronting your fears
• Try changing the “what if” questions to “so what!”

You have already been successful in certain areas, you have the tools, the coping skills, and the experience to get back on track. Don't ignore the signs! You can do this!

Until next time..