Social Anxiety - Self-Talk Blues

As I stated earlier, people with social anxiety or social phobia use negative self-talk. I was taught to counter my negative self-talk. Countering negative self-talk is very hard for me to do, yet if mastered, it is very effective. The whole idea is to replace the "what if" statements which cause anxiety, to positive and supportive statements.

The example I used earlier about going to a concert for one of my children is what I do in every situation that causes me anxiety. I always run through the entire situation from beginning to end using every "what if" scenario I can think of. I have been programmed to do this over many years.

So, just replacing negative statements with positive ones is a constant struggle for me. When I try to do that, I am saying one thing (something positive) and believing something else (something negative). Telling myself nothing is going to happen has no affect on me, because I just don't believe it.

I am supposed to take this to the next level, which is also difficult. When a situation occurs that I know will cause a lot of anxiety for me, I am supposed to write down key questions to diffuse the negativity.

• What is the evidence for this? (whatever "what if" I am thinking).
• Is this always true? (do my fears always come true).
• Has this been true in the past?
• What are the odds of this really happening?
• What is the very worst that could happen?
• Am I looking at the whole picture?
• Am I being fully objective?

Great questions on paper, although anxiety is so powerful for me, I only remember the "bad" things that happen. I never remember the good outcomes because I am so self absorbed in the anxiety.

What has helped, is to write down specific instances when nothing actually happens. The thoughts were just that... thoughts.

Until next time...