If you are like me, you have become an expert at avoiding the situations that cause anxiety. Not anymore, it is time to face our fears. By facing our fears, we will learn:
- Certain actions will not cause disapproval from others
- If disapproval occurs, it won't be a disaster
- Confidence, that we CAN do this
We have already listed our goals on paper. For example: I want to go for a walk, I want to eat at a restaurant, etc. Take these goals and put them in order from the one that will cause the least anxiety, to the one that will cause the most anxiety.
Obviously we are going to start with the one that causes the least anxiety. There are a couple of ways to go to reach our goal.
One way is to imagine ourselves in the situation. This was pretty hard for me to do at first, so don't get discouraged if you find it difficult. What worked for me was:
- Find a quiet place where you won't be interrupted.
- Use a breathing technique or something that will help you relax
- Imagine yourself in the situation you have chosen
This can be the difficult part. Close your eyes and imagine every detail of your situation. What are you wearing, who else is there, is it raining, is it sunny, are you hot or cold, what do you hear, what do you smell? Use all of your senses to get the feeling of actually being in the situation.
Make sure you imagine the whole situation. The beginning, middle and end. If you are going for a walk, start imagining putting on your shoes for example. We want this to be as real as it can be.
Expect to be uncomfortable. Expect your anxiety to rise. If done correctly that is what will happen, but that is what must happen. With all the tools and resources available to us, we can handle this.
Do not stop. Go through the entire scene in your mind, being aware of your anxiety level. It should peak and then come down. Do this imagery as often as necessary, until you realize that tolerating the anxiety will bring relief.
Until next time...
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